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It was my unique pleasure to live with this southern gentleman for 1
full month in NYC. We had some great laughs, talked about singing for
hours, BOTH got sick, and lived in a real sketch part of Manhattan...
Harlem. For two months I live I lived in Inwood. This is an area in
the northern Manhattan about 40 blocks above the upper west side.
That neighborhood was like a walk in the park compared to Harlem...
literally.
Will and I shared a master bedroom at 142nd and Lenox. It was always
an adventure arriving back to the apt. because I was excited about what I might
see.
One day I came home to see this...
Somehow the ironing board was standing on its side. At that point, my
brain cycled through the possibilities of what could have possessed
Will to do this. I came up with no good reason. Later I asked him about it... He replied, "It seemed like the best option at the time.
Another occasion I walk in to see...
I was like, "Will... what the heck are you doing?" He said, "I don't
wanna get my pants wrinkled before my audition." He was pulling a
Seinfeld, where you put your pants on last. I thought it was an
interesting idea when I saw the conductor do it on the show... but
didn't think that people actually did it that way.
Will and I went to the oldest bar in NYC... McSorely's
This bar only has two types of beer... light and dark. Each of which they brew right there in the bar!
There were these dusty old wish bones hanging on strings above the
bar. It was a bit disgusting, so I asked Will what the heck they were
about. He told me that soldiers would eat their final meal before
going to war and hang their wishbone on a string hanging from the ceiling. If they
survived the war, they'd come back and retrieve it. So the wishbones
were from the civil war and they still remain. WOW!
Thanksgiving day parade! Will was the only person I knew that was
willing to face the crowds and actually go to the Macey's Thanksgiving Parade.
We saw snoopy, Kermit, Deil Diamond, a famous men's a cappella group(I had no idea who
they were), and of course Santa! We got as close to the performances in front of Macey's
that we could without having a pass.
If offensive language doesn't sit well with you... you shouldn't read
this last part. A large majority of living in New York is not fun to talk about for me. The reason for starting this blog was talk about life as a performer in NYC. Many moments like the one I'm about to tell you about... are really sad. However, this blog will not just describe about how WONDERFUL life is in the big city. But rather, the reality of living in NYC as an artist... in all of its glory and sacrifice. The following is a true story that happened to me on Dec. 9th.
On my commute to the upper west side to sing for Houston Grand and
Sarasota Opera, I ran into some trouble on the Subway. The subway car
was filled with people. There was African American man that was talking to himself
sitting next to me. Usually, I think nothing of it. He began to
heckle a girl sitting across from me saying, "What you lookin' at
bitch?" She immediately looked down trying to avoid confrontation. But then
he stood up and got in her face. She quickly moved to the other side
of the subway car. I pretended to not pay attention because attention
is usually what they want. This guy was way more confrontational than I was used to with other transients. Usually, if you don't bother them they won't bother you...
Even though I tried my best not to let him know I was giving even a second of my attention to him... he knew he was aggravating me. So he leaned down right in my face and Said, "You ugly white boy... What the fuck you doin' in our neighborhood. If I had my strength I would just kill you. Das right, you white nigga!! Or maybe, I should just get my gun and shoot your fuckin' ass." At this point my heart was racing. I sat absolutely motionless hoping he thought that everything he said had zero of my concern. I thought, "Oh God... am I about to have a death match with a bum?"
My heart ached inside. I could see the pain in this guys heart. I'd never met anybody so filled with rage and hate. Simultaneously, I sat with adrenaline pumping through my body but at the same time my heart ached for this guy. How wronged and forgotten by society does one have to be to be filled with such absolute hate for another person? A person that he doesn't even know. I wanted so badly to stand up and pray with him, ask God to lift the pain from his heart that he expresses in hate towards others. I wanted to hug him in front of a train full of emotionally cold New Yorkers and show them that you can live with compassion for all people... but I was afraid. Afraid of what? I don't know being stabbed, beat up, shot? Instead, I sat with a stone cold look on my face saying... I don't care about you. Not anything you say or anything you do. In my own way I fought hatred with hatred that day. I got off the train 30 minutes before my audition for Houston Grand Opera and wept. I called my brother, then my Mom. No answer.... it was at that moment I realized how alone I am in this city. I'm surrounded by hundreds of people that I knew from a different life... childhood, college, people from my hometown. In that moment, I knew that I couldn't rely on any of them. That was the most alone I had ever felt.
Often, I find myself wondering if this stretch spent in NYC will be something I'll look back on and say... Wow, I'm sure glad I did that. Or will it be, that was the biggest mistake of my life.
Time will tell...
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
-Psalm 23
